Adulting: The Horror!

If you have accepted the supreme court ruling and moved on , you aren’t nursing any bee sting injuries or demonstrating every week, you must have seen the clichΓ©  “Queens are Born In October”

 and “Keep Calm,Its Libra Season” posts on social media.

Have a seat.We need to learn these things.Libra is the seventh astrological sign in the Zodiac.Represented by the Scales symbol β™Ž

So who are these weird people who read their Zodiac horoscopes? Why would anyone believe in the stars, a ruling planet, birthstone and such things? Are they mature enough? Are they adults?

Please don’t roll your eyes so hard you  almost see your brain back there.Well, I wish it was possible, so that all these people who roll their eyes at adults can tell us what they saw in there, where a brain is located in the respectful population. Being an adult is hard!

Tenagers are made of 30% hormones and 70% curiosity …How do we become  adults? What does it entail? First, I’m still in denial, so don’t ask me, but I have an idea.

Be an adult Rose, it will be fun, they said. This is how adulthood looks like to me.

In a bid to cope with adulting ; the act of being an adult, some of us read Astrology predictions or Zodiac horoscopes. They are all fun and games until you find something like “A Leo is prone to losing their job because Saturn is getting vibrations from Uranus” , a day after you are served a warning letter by your ever smiling boss.No pun intended on that Uranus part.

The readings are also a great way to comfort yourself when you have a romantic interest you really want to pursue. So as a guy, you go to your best friend-Google and search “Taurus compatibility with Libra” .Google serves you with respect, you even leave a tip after you get the results.

As a lady, you type “Like I’m a Taurus and I met this cute guy and through my FBI like social media stalking, discovered he’s a Libra.Do you  think we are compatible,like at all” in the search and wait.

The attitude I serve as I wait for Google to find the nonsense I searched

Google will then hold her waist, sigh, click  and think, oh boy! Why the hell do these women have to type so many words for a simple search?

Google will then serve you some search results like the grumpy cashiers in those fast food joints in town; without a smile , fast and with a “Next”  down that page.

I’m sorry if you don’t do fries or you only do KFC, you (Insert ‘Literally’) can’t relate. Some of us only know of downtown ‘shicken and ships’. So the day you make it to the dingy joints,remember to make the “Ni mara yangu ya kwanza…” speech.

PS: All KFC slay selfies will be collected after this blog for rating.So please sit at that corner and edit them ; slowly and with the expertise you have been displaying on the gram.

Let’s get back to Google search results about our Libra man.

You will probably find out Libra men are handsome, romantic , they also snore , they push doors with a ‘Pull’ sign  and chew cud in their sleep. You will either lose interest or just decide you know what,I can handle that.  I like this guy. After all, my neighbour in shagz owns a tractor and it doesn’t make me lose sleep (Never mind the tractor broke down when you were 8 years old and hasn’t worked ever since).

Things infatuation can do!

I am a huge fan of the Zodiac horoscopes, but like most people in my generation, only when my ego is being massaged , my future is described as so bright they even recommend those flashy sunglasses and a floppy hat πŸ‘“πŸ‘’.

I also like my finances connecting with Jupiter (I just made that up) and when my love life is being ruled by Venus ;The planet of love πŸ’• (Audience laughs in the background at that love part πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)

Audience laughs in the background . PC: Hiram Photography on a random evening

There is no moral to this blog post,except that I just love October because I was born on the 7th day of the month and most importantly, baptized on 8th October , five years after my birth. Thanks mum and dad for bringing me to this world. It’s crazy.

Seriously though, I don’t know why I grew past ten years.I should have remained there, because adulthood is clearly a trap.I still remember how much I wanted to be an adult.Look at me now! Just here going through my ‘blogger phase’ without shame and pretending to know what I’m doing with my life.

Yes, I’m growing older but probably not any wiser.I refuse to adult. In fact, I’m looking for an adultier adult to show me the way. I can’t act my age! I have never been this old before.πŸ’

I’m a Libra woman. They say Libras are well-balanced individuals who are passionate , diplomatic and Intelligent. We are also indecisive, have a temper and are emotionally cold 😏. Debatable!

I thank God for another year.I look forward to more of His blessings especially the blessing of a guide to adulthood.

So what’s your Zodiac sign and what are your best qualities?

We will just dismiss the bad qualities with “Never let negativity from the internet spoil your positive and glowing social media life.”
Now, you must share this post with 10 people or the Libra gods will conspire to have you step on a wet spot just after wearing your clean happy socks.The horror!

Happy October! God bless you, God bless (wait for it…) Libras!

😊Aki what are you getting me for my birthday? -Kenyan proverb.

16 comments

  1. My best part, Sarcasm, Sass and Everything Nice…also, please don’t adult anymore, it’s a trick, a lie and a vicious rat race. But you are a Libra so you’ll weather it.

  2. Ha hahahaha Am a Libra too πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    And I refuse to grow up
    That definition of us is spot on 🀸🏾🀸🏾🀸🏾

  3. I am a gemini our symbol is twins so clearly we are two in one.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚you will never be sure which one of me you will be dealing with πŸ˜ˆπŸ‘ΌION we are expressive and quick-witted, sociable, communicative and ready for fun, with a tendency to suddenly get serious, thoughtful and restlessπŸ’Did I mention we are to Libras?Get yourself a Gemini Rose 😁😁 P.S I live for your sarcasm and savagery *sips 🍹*

  4. Aki what are you getting me for my birthday? -Kenyan proverb.

    Mummy i love this try i do more of it cheers to the libras.

  5. come fetch me. i’m stuck at the point….” you must share this post with 10 people or the Libra gods will conspire to have you step on a wet spot just after wearing your clean happy socks.The horror!”””
    you’re horror. I am coming for your birthday presents

    1. I’m sure you stepped on a wet spot…the way you’ve been quite πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ and you didn’t even make an attempt to get my presents.
      Thank you Libra gods for punishing this one

Let Me Know What You Think...